WRATHFUL INDIFFERENCE

infra dignitatis, vulgus

USC Football Commended By US House of Reps; World Continues Burning

with 10 comments

While I wouldn’t normally make fun of anything as serious as USC Trojan Football, the US House of Representatives has made it inevitable. Consider, if you will, House Resolution 153, introduced on February 10, 2009, by the 111th Congress, commending the University of Southern California Trojan football team for its victory in the 2009 Rose Bowl.

Yes, while the world’s economies are twisting down the toilet down at the rate of one Iceland per month, the US House of Representatives is considering actually taking time to commend the USC football team and its marvelous, and devilishly handsome, coach Pete Carroll for its 2008 season and eventual BCS Bowl Game victory. “Why?” you might ask, and then realize nobody should bother asking, because it’s a stupid question.

Now, everyone knows that the House is basically a collection of wingnuts, gun-nuts, nut-nuts, nut-bags, fruit-bats, batmen, octogenarians, freaks, geeks, wastrels, strumpets, corrupt elves, relatives of Cthulhu and other mad-hatters, and them taking up random resolutions like this is no surprise, but the audacity of doing it now? Really? They have nothing better to be doing? Couldn’t they instead do nothing? That would be profoundly better.

Listen, people have enough good reasons for hating the University of Second Choice, and only some of them are even true. Please don’t give them another. Commending USC for featuring “5 players in the Under Armour Senior Bowl game held in Mobile, Alabama (linebackers Rey Maualuga, Brian Cushing, and Clay Matthews, and defensive linemen Fili Moala and Kyle Moore)” – by the way, a nice easy product placement there in the House Resolution – is not the best way to stop the Trojan-hatred worldwide.

UPDATE: It’s important to note that a) Congress hasn’t voted on HRES 153 yet and b) four Representatives from Big 10 States (USC put its Rose Bowl beat-down on the Big 10 champ Penn State) are co-sponsors of this bill. And amusingly enough, the opposition has already begun! Kucinich is going to be seeing a lot more than aliens from his back porch if he lets this one through…

Written by Blaise Nutter

March 4th, 2009 at 12:10 am

Posted in Columns

Tagged with , , ,

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10 Responses to 'USC Football Commended By US House of Reps; World Continues Burning'

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  1. What really gets me is all the different co-authors/sponsors…I mean I have as much Trojan pride as the next blonde from the Marshall School but I at least would have the sense not to co-author something with someone from Texas.

    Mel

    4 Mar 09 at 4:31 pm

  2. That may be the best definition of the House of Representatives ever put into words since the founding of our dear Republic.

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