In a shocking move Friday, surrogates for the McCain campaign hit the airwaves, playing the race card, only to have it be revealed to be the Four of Clubs. The reaction so far has been one of disappointment.

“Well, this helps no one. I mean, it’s a four of clubs. Nobody needs that,” said campaign spokesperson Joel Cockcroft. “We were hoping for something better, a facecard or at least a Heart. But you play the cards you have, not the cards you want. We had the race card.”

The Obama campaign has, for a good number of months, boasted one of the best political hands in the business. In his pocket, Obama draws support from a wide variety of suits and political backgrounds. He features, among his support, young invigorated voters, black voters, a good portion of the entertainment and technology industries, and a number of veterans groups. While multi-suited, the hand could turn out to be a near-Royal Flush.

But what Obama controls in variety, McCain boasts in depth. His straight hand of support among white Republicans is very strong, with only a slight variation caused by a small Latino conservative voting block. However, to create a truly winning hand, the McCain campaign is going to have to throw out a couple more wild cards and hope that one of them can complete their straight flush of Diamonds.

“We’re playing this game to win,” says Danielle Plouffe, Obama’s campaign spokesperson. “We weren’t aware, however, that there were going to be so many wild cards. The race card was totally out of the blue, and of course it turned out to be black. What a surprise.”

When asked if it was any coincidence that the race card was of a black suit, Joel Cockcroft, McCain campaign spokesperson wavered. “I don’t think it indicates one thing or another. We played this card because we felt it gave us the best chance to win. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a low numbered card with a suit we just didn’t need.”

The McCain campaign is currently also considering playing the Religion Card, The One Card, the Illegal Immigrant Card, the Elitist Card, and the Secret Muslim Extremist Card. The Obama campaign is reported to be in ownership of the Confused Old Person Card and the Angry Grandpa Card, although the campaign has issued official denials about both or the possibility of playing them.

When approached for comment on the Race Card and its place in national politics, two-time World Series of Poker Champion Daniel Negranu feigned ignorance. “Are you talking about poker? What the hell’s wrong with you guys? You’re a bunch of idiots.”